Questions and Answers About Ritual Life
At Tikvat Israel Messianic Synagogue: Life Cycle Events
General
Q: What is the importance of received traditions within Jewish lifecycle events?
A: Tradition is the glue that allows us to apply the Torah, enables us to have generational continuity, and brings meaning to the touchpoints of our lives, both in the festival lifecycle and in the rituals of lifecycle. For example, without tradition, our seder celebrations on Passover would be about three minutes long. Tradition provides us with a vehicle to fulfill the mandate in the “V’ahavta” prayer, to teach the Torah diligently to our children. The “Baruch Atah…” formula for prayer, the wearing of the kipa for Jewish men, the breaking of the glass at a Jewish wedding--these are all good things from our Jewish tradition.
Q: I am not a member of Tikvat Israel. What if I am interested in these ritual life events?
A: Our Rabbi is committed to perform weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and other ritual life events for members. He is willing to discuss these events for non-members on a case-by-case basis.
Q: I am not Jewish and I am a member of the congregation. What aspects of Jewish ritual life at Tikvat Israel are applicable to me?
Weddings, funerals, and immersion (baptism) are available to all members. There may be some slight modifications of the ceremonies for non-Jews at these events. Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations and Brit Milah (Circumcision) are reserved for Jewish members for the sake of Jewish identity, covenant, and generational continuity (See 1 Cor. 7:17-20). If you have further questions about this, please feel free to chat with our Rabbi.
For more information on Jewish identity, see the UMJC’s working definition:
https://www.tikvatisrael.com/jewish-identity.html
For more information on conversion, see below:
Q: Can I convert to Judaism at Tikvat Israel?
1 Corinthians 7:17-20 states:
Only let each person live the life the Lord has assigned him and live it in the condition he was in when God called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the congregations. Was someone already circumcised when he was called? Then he should not try to remove the marks of his circumcision. Was someone uncircumcised when he was called? He shouldn’t undergo b’rit-milah. Being circumcised means nothing, and being uncircumcised means nothing; what does mean something is keeping God’s commandments. Each person should remain in the condition he was in when he was called.
The apostle Paul (Rav Sha’ul) is emphasizing the importance of distinction and mutual blessing between Israel and the nations. In general, conversion to Judaism is not necessary because God has grafted the nations in, as nations, to the commonwealth of Israel through Yeshua (See Ephesians 2). At this time there is not an official option for conversion within our local ministry. If desiring to convert in cases of intermarriage, solidifying Jewish identity from Jewish ancestry, or exceptional calling, please speak with the Rabbi.
Q: Why make a distinction between Jewish and non-Jewish members? Aren’t these identity markers erased in Messiah (“there is neither Jew nor gentile…”)?
The heart of Messianic Jewish theology is distinction and mutual blessing between the Jewish people and the nations. Think of a marriage. A man and a woman come together with different gifts, perspectives, and identities to be one (echad), to bless one another, and to work together in their individual and collective callings. If the husband and wife are exactly the same in identity, gifts, and calling, they cannot bless each other. Unity is not the same as uniformity. Neither the man nor the woman is superior, nor more special to God, but each is important as they are. This is our sense of the intention behind scriptures which say “there is neither male nor female” or “there is neither Jew nor gentile.” They don’t erase identity, but rather they establish equal status and value as being created in the Divine Image. And so it is with the identity of Jews and Gentiles in the body of Messiah. We should embrace how God has formed and created us, so that we can be a blessing to each other.
Part of the reason for messianic synagogues is to establish and affirm the beauty of Jewish life in Yeshua. Jewish continuity from generation to generation enables Israel to fulfill her covenantal identity. As the apostle Paul reminds us:
The people of Isra’el! They were made God’s children, the Sh’khinah [Presence] has been with them, the covenants are theirs, likewise the giving of the Torah, the Temple service and the promises; the Patriarchs are theirs; and from them, as far as his physical descent is concerned, came the Messiah, who is over all (Romans 9:4-5).
Tikvat Israel also has many non-Jews as members and leaders. Our heart is to affirm the worth and value of all of our members and visitors even as we affirm Jewish identity and continuity.
Q: What fees are associated with ritual life events?
There are no fees for members. Some choose to give an honorarium to the Rabbi for his service or make a contribution to the congregation.
Brit Milah (Bris)/Circumcision and Baby Naming
Q: What is a Brit Milah?
This is a circumcision ceremony done for Jewish boys on the 8th day, conferring Jewish identity and the covenant of Abraham (Gen. 17). The child’s Hebrew name is also shared and explained, which in Judaism is connected to identity and calling. There is an equivalent baby naming ceremony for a Jewish girl. A Brit Milah can be done at the synagogue, at home, or in a medical setting. The act itself can be performed by a mohel or medical professional, and the Rabbi will conduct the covenantal and ceremonial parts.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebration
Q: What does a Bar or Bat Mitzvah mean?
A: To become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah (Son or Daughter of the Commandment) is a great joy. It usually occurs around the age of 13 for boys and 12 for girls. For a Jew, it signifies that they are now obligated to follow the Torah apart from their parents; they are conferred adult status among Israel, and they are considered eligible for membership at our synagogue. A Jewish teenager post bar-mitzvah can read from the Torah and be counted in membership meetings or in a minyan. If a Jewish member of our community has never had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it’s never too late! Our own elder, Eric, had his on his 60th birthday!
Q: What happens for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah?
For the ceremony itself, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be called up to their first aliyah (reading from the Torah). They will do the blessings and readings in Hebrew and English, and then they will share a drash (short sermon) on that week’s parsha. Afterwards, we will shower them with sweet candies. If you are interested in having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the process begins about a year beforehand to meet with a Hebrew teacher and the Rabbi regularly.
Weddings
Q: I’m interested in getting married! What’s the process for this?
A: First of all, Mazel Tov! Our Rabbi would love to come alongside you both so that you not only understand all the traditions and customs of the wedding day itself, but so that you have the tools for a healthy relationship of communication and mutual blessing. Some elements of a Messianic Jewish wedding are covenantal and connected to Jewish identity, but these can be adapted for non-Jews in conversation with the Rabbi. From the covenants of betrothal and marriage, to the ketubah, to the seven blessings, to the breaking of the glass, our Rabbi has got you covered!
Prior to the ceremony, you would meet with the Rabbi about 5 times to discuss conflict resolution, active listening, expectations, and the wedding service itself, among other topics. We can explore other traditions before the wedding such as a mikveh (ritual bath), some kind of fast/spiritual renewal, and an aufruf ceremony where the groom and/or bride have an aliyah the Shabbat before the wedding.
Q: When can I get married?
A: Traditionally, Jewish weddings do not take place on Shabbat and there are certain days during the year when weddings are customarily not held. It is important therefore to get consultation from the rabbi before fixing a date. If you would like our rabbi to officiate you can share the potential date with him. He will confirm that the date works on the Jewish calendar, and check his personal schedule for adequate pre-marital counseling, the wedding, and the rehearsal. In preparation for the wedding, the couple and the rabbi also goes through a draft of the ceremony and discuss any areas where the couple would like to personalize it (e.g. your wedding vows).
Q: Where can I get married?
A: If you would like to use the synagogue building, please coordinate with our administrator by contacting the office at 804-355-5709 or email [email protected]
Q: What do I need for my special day?
A: You will need to rent or make a chuppah (wedding canopy). If you use the synagogue building, it is necessary to have someone from the media team on duty to run sound for the microphones and any music you may want played. Please offer them, and anyone else involved in putting on the wedding, a gift or honorarium. It is traditional to purchase a ketubah, a traditional Jewish wedding contract, which you would sign on the day of the wedding. We may have one available in the bookstore. You can also find many online, some of which you can customize. You will need to purchase rings. You will need to prepare a thin glass cup in a fabric bag or napkin that will be broken. Some couples use colored glass and make a keepsake from the shards. You can do a search online for wedding glass and wedding glass keepsakes. You will need a cup of wine (preferably a kiddush cup) and a small table to put it on. The groom would traditionally wear a tallit and kippah. It is customary to provide kippahs for the guests.
Finally, and most importantly, you will need to apply for a marriage license and bring me the license at least a day or two before the wedding.
Tevilat Mashiach (Immmersion/Baptism)
Q: Who is eligible for Immersion?
A: Immersion or baptism is available to all who have clung to Yeshua as the promised One of the Scriptures and King of Israel, and have not previously been immersed.
Q: When do you immerse?
A: Every year we immerse individuals at our Rosh Hashanah picnic in the fall in the James River.
Q: Isn’t baptism a Christian thing?
A: Actually, way before the rise of modern Christianity and the Church, Jews were immersing themselves in the ritual bath called the mikveh. The living water symbolizes rebirth and cleanness on the inside, which is why John the Baptist, an observant and righteous Jew, was immersing Jews in the River Jordan in the gospel accounts.
Q: Sounds great. How do I sign up?
A: Let us know by emailing [email protected] and the Rabbi will contact you to process this dynamic commandment of Messiah.
Funerals and Mourning
Q: What resources are available to me with respect to mourning?
Our Rabbi and our community as a whole are here to come alongside you in the mourning and grieving process. Please let our Rabbi know and we will say kaddish for your departed loved one the following Shabbat. Traditionally, Jewish funerals take place as soon as possible, to facilitate the mourning process. There are many mourning traditions that you may find comforting at this time, such as sitting shiva or lighting a memorial candle, and our Rabbi can explain these to you as needed.
Q: What can I expect at a funeral service?
A: The service can be done in the synagogue, at the graveside, or both. The casket is closed in Jewish funerals out of respect for the memory of the deceased loved one. Traditionally, there is a rending of the garments (or a ribbon), the affirmation of God as the Righteous Judge, a eulogy reminding us of the goodness of our departed loved one, the reading of comforting Scriptures, and traditional Jewish prayers like the kaddish.
Q: What is the importance of received traditions within Jewish lifecycle events?
A: Tradition is the glue that allows us to apply the Torah, enables us to have generational continuity, and brings meaning to the touchpoints of our lives, both in the festival lifecycle and in the rituals of lifecycle. For example, without tradition, our seder celebrations on Passover would be about three minutes long. Tradition provides us with a vehicle to fulfill the mandate in the “V’ahavta” prayer, to teach the Torah diligently to our children. The “Baruch Atah…” formula for prayer, the wearing of the kipa for Jewish men, the breaking of the glass at a Jewish wedding--these are all good things from our Jewish tradition.
Q: I am not a member of Tikvat Israel. What if I am interested in these ritual life events?
A: Our Rabbi is committed to perform weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, and other ritual life events for members. He is willing to discuss these events for non-members on a case-by-case basis.
Q: I am not Jewish and I am a member of the congregation. What aspects of Jewish ritual life at Tikvat Israel are applicable to me?
Weddings, funerals, and immersion (baptism) are available to all members. There may be some slight modifications of the ceremonies for non-Jews at these events. Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations and Brit Milah (Circumcision) are reserved for Jewish members for the sake of Jewish identity, covenant, and generational continuity (See 1 Cor. 7:17-20). If you have further questions about this, please feel free to chat with our Rabbi.
For more information on Jewish identity, see the UMJC’s working definition:
https://www.tikvatisrael.com/jewish-identity.html
For more information on conversion, see below:
Q: Can I convert to Judaism at Tikvat Israel?
1 Corinthians 7:17-20 states:
Only let each person live the life the Lord has assigned him and live it in the condition he was in when God called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the congregations. Was someone already circumcised when he was called? Then he should not try to remove the marks of his circumcision. Was someone uncircumcised when he was called? He shouldn’t undergo b’rit-milah. Being circumcised means nothing, and being uncircumcised means nothing; what does mean something is keeping God’s commandments. Each person should remain in the condition he was in when he was called.
The apostle Paul (Rav Sha’ul) is emphasizing the importance of distinction and mutual blessing between Israel and the nations. In general, conversion to Judaism is not necessary because God has grafted the nations in, as nations, to the commonwealth of Israel through Yeshua (See Ephesians 2). At this time there is not an official option for conversion within our local ministry. If desiring to convert in cases of intermarriage, solidifying Jewish identity from Jewish ancestry, or exceptional calling, please speak with the Rabbi.
Q: Why make a distinction between Jewish and non-Jewish members? Aren’t these identity markers erased in Messiah (“there is neither Jew nor gentile…”)?
The heart of Messianic Jewish theology is distinction and mutual blessing between the Jewish people and the nations. Think of a marriage. A man and a woman come together with different gifts, perspectives, and identities to be one (echad), to bless one another, and to work together in their individual and collective callings. If the husband and wife are exactly the same in identity, gifts, and calling, they cannot bless each other. Unity is not the same as uniformity. Neither the man nor the woman is superior, nor more special to God, but each is important as they are. This is our sense of the intention behind scriptures which say “there is neither male nor female” or “there is neither Jew nor gentile.” They don’t erase identity, but rather they establish equal status and value as being created in the Divine Image. And so it is with the identity of Jews and Gentiles in the body of Messiah. We should embrace how God has formed and created us, so that we can be a blessing to each other.
Part of the reason for messianic synagogues is to establish and affirm the beauty of Jewish life in Yeshua. Jewish continuity from generation to generation enables Israel to fulfill her covenantal identity. As the apostle Paul reminds us:
The people of Isra’el! They were made God’s children, the Sh’khinah [Presence] has been with them, the covenants are theirs, likewise the giving of the Torah, the Temple service and the promises; the Patriarchs are theirs; and from them, as far as his physical descent is concerned, came the Messiah, who is over all (Romans 9:4-5).
Tikvat Israel also has many non-Jews as members and leaders. Our heart is to affirm the worth and value of all of our members and visitors even as we affirm Jewish identity and continuity.
Q: What fees are associated with ritual life events?
There are no fees for members. Some choose to give an honorarium to the Rabbi for his service or make a contribution to the congregation.
Brit Milah (Bris)/Circumcision and Baby Naming
Q: What is a Brit Milah?
This is a circumcision ceremony done for Jewish boys on the 8th day, conferring Jewish identity and the covenant of Abraham (Gen. 17). The child’s Hebrew name is also shared and explained, which in Judaism is connected to identity and calling. There is an equivalent baby naming ceremony for a Jewish girl. A Brit Milah can be done at the synagogue, at home, or in a medical setting. The act itself can be performed by a mohel or medical professional, and the Rabbi will conduct the covenantal and ceremonial parts.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Celebration
Q: What does a Bar or Bat Mitzvah mean?
A: To become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah (Son or Daughter of the Commandment) is a great joy. It usually occurs around the age of 13 for boys and 12 for girls. For a Jew, it signifies that they are now obligated to follow the Torah apart from their parents; they are conferred adult status among Israel, and they are considered eligible for membership at our synagogue. A Jewish teenager post bar-mitzvah can read from the Torah and be counted in membership meetings or in a minyan. If a Jewish member of our community has never had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, it’s never too late! Our own elder, Eric, had his on his 60th birthday!
Q: What happens for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah?
For the ceremony itself, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah will be called up to their first aliyah (reading from the Torah). They will do the blessings and readings in Hebrew and English, and then they will share a drash (short sermon) on that week’s parsha. Afterwards, we will shower them with sweet candies. If you are interested in having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the process begins about a year beforehand to meet with a Hebrew teacher and the Rabbi regularly.
Weddings
Q: I’m interested in getting married! What’s the process for this?
A: First of all, Mazel Tov! Our Rabbi would love to come alongside you both so that you not only understand all the traditions and customs of the wedding day itself, but so that you have the tools for a healthy relationship of communication and mutual blessing. Some elements of a Messianic Jewish wedding are covenantal and connected to Jewish identity, but these can be adapted for non-Jews in conversation with the Rabbi. From the covenants of betrothal and marriage, to the ketubah, to the seven blessings, to the breaking of the glass, our Rabbi has got you covered!
Prior to the ceremony, you would meet with the Rabbi about 5 times to discuss conflict resolution, active listening, expectations, and the wedding service itself, among other topics. We can explore other traditions before the wedding such as a mikveh (ritual bath), some kind of fast/spiritual renewal, and an aufruf ceremony where the groom and/or bride have an aliyah the Shabbat before the wedding.
Q: When can I get married?
A: Traditionally, Jewish weddings do not take place on Shabbat and there are certain days during the year when weddings are customarily not held. It is important therefore to get consultation from the rabbi before fixing a date. If you would like our rabbi to officiate you can share the potential date with him. He will confirm that the date works on the Jewish calendar, and check his personal schedule for adequate pre-marital counseling, the wedding, and the rehearsal. In preparation for the wedding, the couple and the rabbi also goes through a draft of the ceremony and discuss any areas where the couple would like to personalize it (e.g. your wedding vows).
Q: Where can I get married?
A: If you would like to use the synagogue building, please coordinate with our administrator by contacting the office at 804-355-5709 or email [email protected]
Q: What do I need for my special day?
A: You will need to rent or make a chuppah (wedding canopy). If you use the synagogue building, it is necessary to have someone from the media team on duty to run sound for the microphones and any music you may want played. Please offer them, and anyone else involved in putting on the wedding, a gift or honorarium. It is traditional to purchase a ketubah, a traditional Jewish wedding contract, which you would sign on the day of the wedding. We may have one available in the bookstore. You can also find many online, some of which you can customize. You will need to purchase rings. You will need to prepare a thin glass cup in a fabric bag or napkin that will be broken. Some couples use colored glass and make a keepsake from the shards. You can do a search online for wedding glass and wedding glass keepsakes. You will need a cup of wine (preferably a kiddush cup) and a small table to put it on. The groom would traditionally wear a tallit and kippah. It is customary to provide kippahs for the guests.
Finally, and most importantly, you will need to apply for a marriage license and bring me the license at least a day or two before the wedding.
Tevilat Mashiach (Immmersion/Baptism)
Q: Who is eligible for Immersion?
A: Immersion or baptism is available to all who have clung to Yeshua as the promised One of the Scriptures and King of Israel, and have not previously been immersed.
Q: When do you immerse?
A: Every year we immerse individuals at our Rosh Hashanah picnic in the fall in the James River.
Q: Isn’t baptism a Christian thing?
A: Actually, way before the rise of modern Christianity and the Church, Jews were immersing themselves in the ritual bath called the mikveh. The living water symbolizes rebirth and cleanness on the inside, which is why John the Baptist, an observant and righteous Jew, was immersing Jews in the River Jordan in the gospel accounts.
Q: Sounds great. How do I sign up?
A: Let us know by emailing [email protected] and the Rabbi will contact you to process this dynamic commandment of Messiah.
Funerals and Mourning
Q: What resources are available to me with respect to mourning?
Our Rabbi and our community as a whole are here to come alongside you in the mourning and grieving process. Please let our Rabbi know and we will say kaddish for your departed loved one the following Shabbat. Traditionally, Jewish funerals take place as soon as possible, to facilitate the mourning process. There are many mourning traditions that you may find comforting at this time, such as sitting shiva or lighting a memorial candle, and our Rabbi can explain these to you as needed.
Q: What can I expect at a funeral service?
A: The service can be done in the synagogue, at the graveside, or both. The casket is closed in Jewish funerals out of respect for the memory of the deceased loved one. Traditionally, there is a rending of the garments (or a ribbon), the affirmation of God as the Righteous Judge, a eulogy reminding us of the goodness of our departed loved one, the reading of comforting Scriptures, and traditional Jewish prayers like the kaddish.
by Rabbi David Wein
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